You’re all clear, kid. Let’s blow this thing and go home! I call it luck. You mean it controls your actions? I’m trying not to, kid. Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. The more you tighten […]

He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. I’m a monster. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. No… but I’d like to be asked! Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. […]

Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. Really? Did nothing cancel? It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond […]

Obi-Wan is here. The Force is with him. What good is a reward if you ain’t around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain’t my idea of courage. It’s more like…suicide. Look, I can take you as far as Anchorhead. You can get a transport there to Mos Eisley or wherever you’re going. […]